


Summertime sadness

by Sylencia



Category: Naruto
Genre: Cute story, Fluff, M/M, a bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2018-04-25 18:29:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4971748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sylencia/pseuds/Sylencia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Madara’s moody and Hashirama tries to find out why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Summertime sadness

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is for my friend, kisamesfacioplegia because she wasn’t feeling so good lately. Wrote it in 2h and it was supposed to be short and cute but it’s a bit dark (and a bit cute too). I haven’t been able to write anything since early august and paf, I wrote this without interuption. what the hell brain ?

Hashirama didn’t miss it. He couldn’t, as it was so obvious but he still didn’t know why but Madara had been moody, lately. Worse than that, Hashirama really had a hard time seeing his boyfriend, as, most of the time, Madara was away from the village or locked himself in his house. It really was a strange behavior, something he never witnessed before and Hashirama couldn’t begin to imagine why was Madara in such a mood.

But his mind kept wandering around, replaying the last days avents as he kept trying to find out if he did something wrong. Was it because he tried holding his hand in the street ? Madara had reacted in a weird way, looking at him with wide eyes as if what he tried was shocking and/or disgusting. Then, the Uchiha had said he had to go and left without another word. But later, Hashirama had been able to talk to Madara again without any mention of the incident.

Another time, Hashirama had tried to kiss his boyfriend in the Hokage office. He had wanted to do so for so long. Hashirama fantasized about it (and not just about kissing him ..). He didn’t ask for the whole making out session but just a small kiss on the lips, in the middle of his day, as he was writing some random messages for foreign clans, while Madara was proofreading his work. But when he tried to touch Madara’s lips with his, when he tried to steal the kiss, thinking it’d be romantic, Madara had stared at him with such a look in the eyes that Hashirama felt all his excitement fading and disappearing.

That was when he started to think something was wrong with his boyfriend.

More importantly, Madara had refused to spend the night with him, lately. Not even thinking about sex (he knew how much this point could frustrate Madara sometimes), all he wanted was to lie in bed with his lover, touch his pale skin, smile at him and watch Madara fall asleep slowly, relaxing in his presence but those little pleasures seemed forbidden to him, lately. As if Madara was slowly drifting away, as if his lover was losing his interest for him. But there was one thing Hashirama was sure of : Madara wasn’t the kind of person to cheat on his lover. He even doubt Madara ever had some romantic or sexual interest for anyone else than him. People might think it was kind of arrogant, coming from him but .. Hashirama knew it was the truth.

From that day, from the “kissing event day”, Madara had been so secretive, so far from him, even when they were together. Hashirama barely was able to talk with him, despite the fact he had been able to make Madara talk more, during the past few months. Madara even had been so .. cheerful during the summer, as cheerful as Madara Uchiha could be. The changes weren’t much, but Hashirama knew his lover, so he noticed. Madara had been smiling more, he sometimes took the time to watch around him, to let the sun warm up his skin and Hashirama had been thinking that maybe, just maybe, Madara was getting used to Konoha, that he was finally settling down but those last few days were proving him how wrong he had been.

Because Madara was moody, but also capricious. Just like a terrible child, he never wanted to do anything, kept grumbling and frowning and Hashirama tried to joke, hoping for an amused expression coming from his lover, telling him he’d get wrinkles if he kept frowning like that but the glare Madara shot back at him made him shiver. Not from fear, he never really was scared of Madara but .. What the hell was wrong with him ?

And Madara’s mood kept getting worse and even Hashirama’s usual good mood was going down now. Even Tobirama noticed something was wrong between those two, as he heard Hashirama ordering someone to leave him alone. This was so unlikely, so out of his character, the Hashirama he knew would have asked, nicely, if the person could leave. The Hashirama he knew wouldn’t have said “Leave me alone”, sounding like “Stop bothering me” and that’s when the younger Senju decided he needed to intervene, despite his obvious disgust.

Yes, Tobirama Senju was happy they finally were able to maintain peace, they finally were able to create this village and sooth the tensions between clans and to stop the slaughtering of innocent children. He was happy to hear them run around and play and scream, even during those days when all he wanted was the silence and to be left alone. What he wasn’t happy about was to see that this peace mostly rested on Hashirama and Madara’s “relationship”.

How many times did he tell his brother he shouldn’t do those things ? How many times did he tell him that Madara was unstable, that he couldn’t be trusted ? Too many for him to remember, so many times the words were probably engraved in Hashirama’s brain but did Hashirama listen ? No, not at all ! Hashirama never listened, he did like he wanted, just like when they were children and he did start this disgusting relationship with Madara. Why disgusting ? Because it was Madara Uchiha. Hashirama could have wanted any other person, male or female, he could have had them in a wink, but he had to chose that precise person. And Tobirama was feeling frustrated about it. His brother was so stubborn it nearly hurt !

And now ? Madara seemed to be back to his usual self, his aura so dark children were scared of him, terrified he might slight their throat in their sleep and Hashirama ordered someone to leave him alone. And this wasn’t right.

That’s why Tobirama decided it had to stop. And quickly, before something bad happened. He had to push some sense back in his brother’s brain and he wouldn’t give up until the situation was right again. He couldn’t watch his brother ruin his dream because of some stupid reason and he’d do anything to help and that’s how, this Saturday morning, he waited to be sure Hashirama was alone in his office (or, more precisely, he waited to see Madara leave the room, to make sure he wouldn’t open the door on them doing nasty things like he did, once ..), pushed the door open and refrained a sigh when he noticed how drained Hashirama looked.

Behind the desk, the Hokage was a mess. He had a fight with Madara, it was obvious (or worse, they didn’t fight, like they probably needed to) and Hashirama looked so tired. He had dark bags under the eyes (matching with Madara’s), he was going to tear off his hair if he kept running his hands in it like he did, he looked pale (and for someone with a dark skin like Hashirama’s, it was alarming) and he obviously lost some weight. Tobirama sighed, when his brother looked up at him but he didn’t back off from his strange task. His big brother needed him.

Without a word, Tobirama walked closer to the desk, found a spot without scrolls so he could sit and he looked down at his joined hands for a short while, trying to find the right words to say, while Hashirama was staring at him with empty eyes (another sign something was wrong with the Hokage). It wasn’t that easy, what he was going to say cost him more than he’d admit but Tobirama had to do it.

“How do you feel, brother .. ?” he first whispered, trying to win some time.

Hashirama didn’t move at first. With those fishy eyes, he stared at him then he ran his hands once more in his hair and shrugged. He really didn’t know how he felt. Not right, that was for sure but to put words on his feelings ? Hashirama wasn’t sure those words even existed. He’d have to invent new ones to makes sure they’d fit. And he wasn’t in a creative mood.

Tobirama swallowed his saliva, pushing his lips into a thin line. He wasn’t good at this, never was, never will but he couldn’t let his brother suffer as much as he seemed he was and he cleared his throat as he shifted, to make sure he wasn’t going to cross Hashirama’s look.

“Is something wrong between Madara and you ?”

At first, Hashirama thought he didn’t hear well. He thought he was dreaming, or having a nightmare, in this case. Why would Tobirama even ask a question like this one ? It wasn’t like his brother, at all, Tobirama always told him he was against his relationship with Madara, and sometimes, Hashirama felt like his brother might be right, he did think Madara was unstable and was probably going to go rampage, at some point (and it nearly happened but Hashirama wasn’t going to tell his brother). But ever since they started their relationship, their romantic relationship, Hashirama never regretted. Even when it was sometimes really hard to continue, because Madara wasn’t easy to live with, he wasn’t easy to deal with in any way but still .. Still, there was something, it wasn’t much, just a spark and it was enough, to him. It always had been enough and it told Hashirama how worth it all was.

But the spark had been fading and it hadn’t been a year since they were together and it was all so depressing.

With a huge sigh, Hashirama straightened his back, crossed his arms. He wasn’t sure why Tobirama cared but he was a mess and he wasn’t forcing Tobirama to talk about it.

“Madara’s weird.” he admitted, frowning lightly.

“Weirder than usual, you mean ?” the younger Senju teased and, at least, it made Hashirama smile. This was why he loved his brother that much.

“Yeah ..” Hashirama sighed, placing his head in his hand. “I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve tried everything but it feels like .. he’s leaving.”

The situation was even weirder than Madara’s mood, to Tobirama but he stayed still, thinking it wouldn’t help his brother if he too moved away from him but he didn’t know what to say. He never was able to predict Madara’s reactions before and had no idea why he’d be like that. All he wanted was to help his brother feel better.

“You should talk with him.” Tobirama advised, as serious as possible, even if he couldn’t help but think it was stupid. Madara wasn’t one to talk much, to begin with and Hashirama probably already tried that. “Show him you care, without being so .. dramatic” he added after a short silence. “Show him you’re present without taking all the space.”

When he stopped talking, because he couldn’t help but think it sounded ridiculous, Tobirama glanced at his brother. Hashirama was still looking right in front of him, he was still looking so desperate for a sign that Madara was still loving him but he slowly nodded, as if Tobirama’s strange words were making sense to him and he stood up, moved to the door, as stiff as a stick. It wasn’t going to be easy, after how the last meeting with Madara just ended but he had to. He had no other choice, not if he wanted Madara to stay with him.

“Why do you care, Tobi ?” the older Senju asked, his hand on the door handle. “Why would you try to give me advice, after you told me you were disapproving our relationship ?”

Tobirama stared at his brother’s back for a long time, wondering if he should answer, if Hashirama really wanted an answer to his question, but knowing it was his place, he sat behind the desk, assuring Hashirama he’d take care of things while he’d be away, it being five minutes or five days and he shrugged.

“I don’t do it for your relationship, and I really don’t do it for him” Tobirama stated, spitting the last word. “However, you are my brother, and you were in need of help. I’d be a terrible brother if I didn’t help you.”

Hashirama looked back at his younger brother, trying to see the truth in his eyes but Tobirama already was sorting scrolls on his desk, an emotionless expression on the face, as if nothing happened and Hashirama let it slide for this time. Whatever his brother might mean, and the hidden senses of his words, he wasn’t in the mood to ask for more. He wasn’t in the mood to argue with his sibling. Tobirama had shown so much vehemence against them, against he and Madara, together and now, he was helping them ? Something felt off but Hashirama dropped the subject. Tobirama was right about one thing. He had to speak with Madara.

On those thoughts, Hashirama left the office. He walked around the village, took the time to admire the autumn beauty in the leaves, how colorful they were turning, how beautiful the village looked in this new coat and he used this time to clear his thoughts, to clear his feelings. His last encounter with Madara hadn’t gone well, he had asked Madara if he wanted to leave the village. After all this time, and his terrible mood and his ever-lasting frown, Hashirama had imagined the worse, thinking Madara might want to leave again. However, Madara’s reaction had been more painful than the rest.

“If you truly think I am going to leave Konoha, then, maybe I should.”

The sting in his heart was still present, when Hashirama finally found the courage to walk to Madara’s home. It was nearly noon, he had walked around the village for so much time his legs were sore (they shouldn’t be sore but then again, when was his last mean ? Yesterday night ? Yesterday’s morning ? Even before that ?) and he was ready to knock at Madara’s door when he heard the soft cracking of a wood fire not far from him. It smelled like fire too and with a frown, Hashirama walked around the house, stopped as he noticed Madara in his backyard.

Indeed, there was a fire. A small one, only fueled by a couple of twigs and Madara was walking around the small space, bending to pick up things Hashirama couldn’t identify for now and it looked strange. What the hell was Madara doing ? This was one strange behavior and Hashirama didn’t move at all, for a couple of minutes, trying to make sense with what he was seeing, until he notice that Madara was picking up dead leaves and throwing them in the fire.  
What the hell ?

“What is it, Hashirama ?”

Madara’s cold voice made the Senju shiver under his light clothes and he looked up from the fire, only to stare at Madara’s red eyes. He was pissed. He looked pissed but he wasn’t acting like it. No, Madara didn’t seem angry at him for spying on him. He was waiting for an answer and Hashirama, caught red handed, moved from his spying .. well, observation spot and walked to his lover, stopped by the fire and extended his arms to warm up his hands.

“You are burning leaves ..” the Senju stated, as it wasn’t obvious enough. He mentally slapped himself, wondering if he could be even more stupid but Madara didn’t mock him. He hesitated for a while, but Hashirama couldn’t help but notice his lover was calmer than before, calmer than when he left the office and it was helping, it was making him feel more comfortable and calmer himself. Madara looked even like his usual self. Except that he was burning dead leaves. Why would he burn dead leaves ? Couldn’t he just leave them there, in the grass, like the whole village did ? Or ask for someone else to take care of it ? It really wasn’t something a clan leader was supposed to do. Not when said clan leader was supposed to be with the Hokage, in their office, because they had to organize the arrival of a new clan.

“I am.” Madara nodded, adding more leaves to the fire. As he did so, he brushed against Hashirama’s hand and the Senju smiled, as it had been their most intimate gesture for weeks, since when Madara’s mood had been going down.

“Why the hell are you burning leaves ?”

Madara looked up at his boyfriend, unmoved by the question. Hashirama wondered if their previous encounter was now forgotten or, at least, forgiven. It was obvious that Madara was feeling better. Why ? Hashirama had no idea. Was it because he was there, with him, stating the obvious and asking stupid questions ? Was it something Madara enjoyed about him ? But he was doing exactly what Tobirama told him. He was showing he cared, in a way, he was showing that he was there. And he wasn’t being over-dramatic.

Hashirama felt Madara’s fingers brush against his and this time, it wasn’t innocent. It wasn’t an accidental touch, Madara did it on purpose and Hashirama tried not to smile. In vain. He did smile, unable to look away from Madara’s face, as the Uchiha looked so beautiful, on this precise moment. “A face only a mother could love” he once said. How wrong he was.

Uncertain, Hashirama leaned down, wanting now nothing more but to kiss his lover but he stopped midway, leaving the choice for Madara to do it or not and he waited. Once second, two and Madara’s lips were on his, in a gentle, soft kiss. It wasn’t like an usual kiss. It didn’t feel like it. They needed it. Both or them and Hashirama didn’t hesitate to close his eyes, showing all his trust, knowing Madara would keep them open, even the slightest.

Then, he straightened his back, glanced at the fire, wondering if Madara was ever going to answer.

“Because I hate autumn.”

Taken aback by such an answer, Hashirama glanced at Madara. Was it the reason of such a mood ? Was Madara really affected by the end of the summer ? Was it because he hated the cold and the wind and the snow ? Was it because he preferred to be all warm ? Hashirama made a mental note, thinking he’d buy another blanket for them to make sure Madara will be comfortable in his bed. All warm and cozy. And he thought about asking all those questions to his loved but he was stopped by a strong sneeze that nearly made Madara jump but the Uchiha did step aside, with a disgusted snarl as Hashirama was blowing his nose.

“I hate it even more now. Stay away from me.”


End file.
